Michael Gerber
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I must confess, I did not own the album A Hard Day’s Night until fairly recently. So when I finally did get a copy, I discovered with pleasure that there were still a few new-to-me Beatles songs out there, namely “Any Time at All” and “When I Get Home” (which didn’t make it into the movie).

The latter pops up on my iPod Shuffle now and then, and every time I hear it, this lyric makes me snort:

When I get home tonight
I’m gonna hold her tight
I’m gonna love her till the cows come home

What I love about these lines is that, while the content is quite sexually forward, the image is about as unsexy as you can get. “Till the cows come home”? No wonder the girls used to faint! And I would also like to note that it doesn’t rhyme with anything (the next part goes “And then I’ll love her more / Till I walk out that door again”), so he could have come up with something else. “Till the break of day,” perhaps, John? No thanks, mate, I’ll stick with the cows.

I think this is my candidate for worst Beatles lyric — although “I know that she’s no peasant” is very hard to top. Other nominations? And can you come up with a less sexy (non-Spinal Tap) lyric about sex?