Michael Gerber
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Thanks to our ever-vigilant @Hologram Sam, we now know that Peter Jackson’s frenzied attempt at making the 1969 Get Back sessions less of an unholy drag will premiere on September 4, 2020. Mike will not be there. Mike may never be there, unless all of you say it’s wonderful. Mike’s teenaged years were scarred by many, many Twickenham bootlegs, and Mike DOES NOT FORGET.

“State-of-the-art image-correction technology will be used to make Paul less pushy, George less sullen, and Ringo less cold,” said a Disney spokesman. “It will also sweep the opiates from John and Yoko’s bloodstream.”

The film will be sponsored by McVitie’s.

(The date is right. Everything else was a joke.)

PS, also not a joke: did you know that Michael Lindsay-Hogg was very possibly Orson Welles’ son?

PPS, a joke: this setting is only slightly less depressing than the setting for They Shall Not Grow Old. C’mon Peter — restore something nice for a change.