Michael Gerber
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It’s nearly impossible for a modern person to understand the white-hot, spittle-flecked paranoia that The Beatles generated in certain quarters of American society. But it’s really essential to their story—how they perceived themselves, how they interacted with fans (and haters), their transit from performing band to studio magicians, and the peculiar pressures that they were under from February 1964 on. This earnest four minutes of insanity was uttered by Judge Benjamin Schwartz of the Cincinnati Juvenile Court, in the aftermath of the Fabs’ concert in August 1964. Chair-kissing took place people. Chair-kissing.

As we all know, Western Civilization ended soon after.